Young Wombs New Year resolutions

To masturbate over every single one of these guys.

To get prison boyfriends


To understand what the younger generations are saying. For example, my sister called me a tipnup. What’s a tipnup?

My younger sister also called someone “a boss”. I THOUGHT SHE WAS REFERRING TO THIS SCENE IN COMMUNITY. I HIGH FIVED HER.

She was in fact referring to this Boss.


JOKEZ she is 22. She doesn’t know who Bruce Springsteen is.

She was actually talking about this boss.

Cake Boss poster

To try out every single sex tip in every single women’s magazine there is

To finally release our magazine for menopausal women.


To realise the trends before they become the trends thus bucking the trends.

Prediction: In 2013 people will regard clothes from the 90’s as vintage. Everyone will wear oversized chords and taproot hoodies. Ironically.

Screen Shot 2013-01-02 at 22.18.55

Start beating up Nerds.

Start beating up Geeks.

Tell anyone who hates on our tattoos they have shit hair.

Make Emily get a tattoo so we can both hate on people who hate on our tattoos.

Start a cult based on Skyrim.

Talk less about periods and more about meriods*.

Be less dramatic.

Join a dramatic arts group.

Be dramatic.

Be more tolerant of others. Except idiots, be less tolerant, and more aggressive and condensing.

Keep a dream diary. LOL JOKE, don’t ever do that.

Try out a central parting, a la Devon Sawa / Nick Carter of the 90s fame.

*Mermaid periods.

Make his guy PRESIDENT


Only eating cakes in mugs until we loose our limbs and sight to dibetes.

Image one

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